Lost Faiths
by MEStarr
Summary: Another story about the Fours return to Narnia. Suspian because nothing else feels right.:.:.:.:.:.
1. Chapter 1

**Prince Caspian Fanfiction Sort of Songfic**

**Chapter 1**

'_It started out as a feeling  
Which then grew into a hope  
Which then turned into a quiet thought  
Which then turned into a quiet word_

And then that word grew louder and louder  
'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back  
When you call me  
No need to say goodbye'

It felt like my heart was being ripped apart as I walked away from Caspian; I was putting everything into not crying or running back to him. All I could think was that I was never going to see him again, I was never coming back and I wasn't allowed if I wanted to.

I wanted to.

For a second I looked back at Caspian, sorrow and heartbreak in both our eyes. Dragging my eyes away I caught the Great Lions and bowed my head slightly before following my siblings through the twisted tree porthole. All too soon I was surrounded by the buzz of the train station. The four of us stood on the busy platform, all still and shocked. The train was still pulling up at the station, just like it had been when we'd left two years ago. It took a moment to recall the time differences; years in Narnia would be mere seconds here in our world.

"Aren't you coming Phyllis?" Is he talking to me? Oh yeah, I'd forgotten.

"Who's Phyllis?" Peter asked curiously as we pick up our things and board the train. I shook my head as the doors slid shut and looked out the window. My eyes were blurry from tears building up so I kept them hidden from the others.

"Oh no!" Edmund exclaimed suddenly, rummaging around his bag, "I left my new torch in Narnia!" I force a smile as the others laugh but as I look away a tear rolls down my cheek. Edmunds torch is nothing compared to what I've lost.__

'You'll come back  
When it's over  
No need to say good bye

Now we're back to the beginning  
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet  
But just because they can't feel it too  
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger  
'Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back  
When they call you'  


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	2. Chapter 2

**Prince Caspian Fanfiction**

**Chapter 2**

"Su? Are you okay in there?"

I quickly wiped my red eyes and opened the door to find Peter standing outside. "Hey, yeah…sorry I was ages. Have you guys started?"

He didn't look convinced, "No, we're waiting for you." He told me, "You've been crying Su." It was more of a statement than a question.

"I said I'm fine Peter! Leave it!" With that I walked past him into the living room where Lucy and Edmund were preparing a game of Scrabble. I sat on the floor beside my little sister and picked out some pieces.

Edmund started and we went round for a while in more or less silence; occasionally one of them would say something, "Can we do names?" Edmund asked after a while.

"Why not." Peter shrugged. He began to lay down letters until he'd spelt out the word MIRAZ. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of Caspian's uncle's name, he was the man I'd supposedly killed. There was a tense silence in the room and I could feel Peter's eyes on me, "Not those names Ed." He said quietly.

"You said we could do names! That's a name." he retorted. With a sigh I picked up the three letters of the only word I could think of and set them down around the 'A' in 'Miraz'. "Pain?"

I nodded and took a gulp of my lemonade, ignoring the silence until Lucy broke it, "Did I tell you about the time changes about Narnia and here?" she said it conversationally but I jumped slightly at the name.

"Lucy-"Peter warned.

"Yeah, it's hardly changed! I mean, Glenstorm and Trumpkin were still there, and so was-"

"Stop Lucy!" Peter said as subtly as he could. I sat frozen between them, staring at the board.

"I was just saying-"she began but I interrupted her.

"We know what you're saying Lucy. But, I'm sorry, I don't want to know. I think it's time we grow up and move on…we're not going back." I could practically feel the shock radiating off my brothers and sisters. I looked down and swiped my blurring eye.

Letting out another sigh I finished my drink, "Susan, don't pretend like you don't care anymore. We know you still do! Every time it comes up you pretend you were never there. And I don't understand why!" Lucy told me.

I frowned, "Because pretending always easier Lu. I don't want to remember…I _want _to forget it all but I can't. And it hurts when you bring it up." With that I stood up and walked into the kitchen, a second later Peter followed.

"What's going on Su? It's not like you were _with _Caspian or anything!" His harsh words made me snap.

I spun around; tears in my eyes and fury on my face, "Shut up Peter! You don't understand, you never could!" I yelled.

"What do you mean?" he shouted back.

"I want to forget it all! I want to forget everything about it! Glenstorm, the Narnians, _Caspian! _And even _Aslan!" _He took a step back in shock and I heard Lucy gasp from the doorway. "None of you would ever understand why and I wouldn't expect you too. All of you left something you could take back; your titles or your _torch_." I said, looking at my brothers in turn, "Don't get me wrong; I loved both of them. And that's why I want to forget! Because both of them together _broke _my heart! And every time you mention Narnia, it just…shatters!" Tears were pouring down my cheeks now and my voice broke.

After a moment of silence Peter stepped hesitantly towards me, "I'm sorry Su…we didn't realize." I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes, "If you'd said…Aslan would've let you stay."

"Don't be a fool Peter." I interrupted calmly, "He wouldn't have. Because we're the _four _Kings and Queens of Old…not three. We don't work as three; maybe two…but never three." From his expression I knew he was the truth in my words and he couldn't argue.

There was another awkward silence before Lucy spoke again, "He…He's still alive Susan."

"You can't know that." I added quickly.

"Yes I can, because I still have faith in Aslan and I trust him. I know him…we all know that he wouldn't hurt you like that."

I let out a humorless laugh and shook my head, "He already has Lucy…he already has."

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	3. Chapter 3

**PCFS 3**

(Aslan's POV)

_"He already has Lucy…He already has."_

How had I done this? Parted their love like that? Surely I'd seen it when they'd said goodbye all that time ago!

Being the only one with the power to do so, I'd slowed down the time in Narnia as much as I could. Now Caspian was in the third year of his rule at the age of 21 while Susan was now 19. The Pevensie's had been in their land for two years now and had all grown greatly. Lucy and Edmund had returned a number of times but their time was almost over.

I'd always paid the most attention to the other three; wise little Lucy was always to be protected. I'd always watched Edmund closely to keep him on the right course. Then of course Peter always needed containing; someone to keep his power in check. He needed a leader and I was that.

But Susan…with Susan I'd been blind. I'd always thought her strong, brace and valiant; able to get through things independently and gracefully. This was her front, her cover, an act she put on. Foolishly I'd never looked much deeper to see the fragile, delicate girl beneath. And that was how I broke her; I didn't look and I didn't see. Now I had to bring her back together again and I will do whatever it takes.


	4. Chapter 4

**PCFS 4**

** Hey! Thank you for the amazing reviews! :DD I'm kinda scared now cos I'm gonna go and do something bad and you're all gonna hate me lool **** But thanks anyhoo …**

"Miss Pevensie? Miss Pevensie!"

I jolted upright at the sound of Mrs. Browns voice. I realized I'd fallen asleep against the wall beside my desk, "Sorry Miss." I murmured. Lilly, my best friend, was grinning at me from her seat next to me.

"1924?" She asked expectantly.

"Lenin died." I sighed, leaning back against the wall; there was a buzzing in my head which was making me drowsy.

"Correct." As the lesson drew on the buzzing sound became louder and louder until it was a deafeningly familiar sound. Was this really what I thought it was? It couldn't be! Never again he'd said!

I stuck my hand up in the air, "Yes Miss Pevensie?"

"Can I go to the Nurse's office please?" she gave me permission and I left the class with my things. Instead of going to the Nurse though, I headed outside and sat down on a more hidden bench and leant my head against the wall.

The world was spinning around me, the horn blowing louder still. Then the wall and bench had gone and I was falling. My eyes were clamped shut when I landed with a thud on the soft white sand of a beach. The terrible din had been replaced suddenly by the gently sound of waves crashing onto the beach. The wash was pooling up around my feet.

Slowly I opened my eyes and sat up, brushing the sand off my face and clothes. I found myself looking at a huge cove; tall islands and needles shooting out of the clear blue water everywhere. It was beautiful and picturesque but I couldn't get my head around it.

Surely my eyes were deceiving me! This couldn't be right! I turned and looked along the tops of the cliffs towering above me, letting out a sharp gasp. There stood Cair Paravel, in all its former glory. But it wasn't a ruin? When we'd arrived at this very spot last time all that remained of our old home was a ruin. Yes we'd rebuilt it but surely it would be gone again by now.

Taking a deep breath I stood up; looking at my outfit and sighing. My short red school skirt, loose white shirt and grey cardigan weren't exactly the height of Narnian fashion. Then again who knew how it had evolved. I made my way up the old path that only we used to use to get back and forth from the beach and castle. It was almost totally overgrown now from the disuse but I made good time.

I was fairly shocked to see people, or rather Narnians, walking around the place from my place in the trees. What was going on? It must've been thousands of years yet some of these people I still recognized. Like that centaur! I faintly recalled Lucy's comment of the times changing; could she be right? Why would Aslan do that? A sudden thought hit me; if she was right, wouldn't _He _still be here? He'd be older obviously but he'd still be here. I quickly rid that thought from my mind; I couldn't get my hopes up and assume he was still alive. It would only hurt more when I find out he'd gone.

I began to walk around the outer walls, under cover of the trees. The hidden entrance to our chamber was now in a room between my room and Peter's, in other words impossible to get to. But I needed to try; I needed to get clothes that would make me look a little less suspicious.

There were moments when I thought I'd been spotted, hiding behind curtains or furniture. It was especially difficult to get past the guards into our quarters. I couldn't understand why they'd be guarding our things so heavily. Luckily they heard something down a corridor and disappeared off; I was able to slip down another passage and into my room. It was just the same as I'd last seen it; there wasn't even a cover of dust! I crept into the room where the entrance was hidden and went to the stone wall. On pressing a particular stone part of the wall slid aside and I was able to descend the dark staircase.

As I emerged into the huge circular chamber, illuminated only by rays of bright sunlight, a smile spread over my face. Here, everything was coated in a thick layer of dust, being underground it was worse. I was happy to know that it had remained unfound in our absence. I crossed to the chest beneath my statue and lifted the lid. I let out a sigh of relief at the sight of my bow and arrows.

Within ten minutes I'd changed into a long, scoop-neck grey dress with a pale blue under skirt; the bodice was a little looser now though. I slung the bow and arrow over my shoulder and fastened a sword and dagger to the belt around my waist. These were the things I always missed when we left. As a second thought, I pulled on a floor length, black velvet cloak with a large hood. I couldn't be recognized, even if I did look suspicious.

Of course the guards were back at their posts so I couldn't get out that way and there was no other means of escape in my room so I went to Peters. Sure enough, two meters beneath his balcony was another tiled roof. Taking a deep breath, I jumped onto it, landing somehow gracefully in a crouching position. I crept along until I could see the courtyard below where about twenty Narnians resided. Another deep breath and I slid down the roof and dropped lithely into the corner of the courtyard. Acting like I belonged there, like I was just another person going about my day to day business, I walked across and out of the gate. I didn't breathe until I was back in the forest.

Feeling confident that I hadn't been seen or recognized, I began to walk quickly away from Cair Paravel. If I had taken one of the horses in the stables I would have been question or followed. Either way would give away that I was here. As I walked through the dense forest question flew through my head. How long had it been since we'd left? Who blew the horn? Where were the others?

Why was I back?

Aslan had made it pretty clear that Peter and I would never return. Surely something must have happened here, something big enough that Aslan had to break a promise; something so big that we were needed. But the Narnians in Cair Paravel seemed pretty relaxed to me.

It must have been at least an hour later that I emerged into the huge field. I'd been thinking about how much I'd love to have a horse rather than walking when I heard the familiar sounds of hooves. Looking to my left I smiled widely at the sight of three horses galloping towards me. They were so beautiful and graceful as they came to a slow stop, surrounding me. All were at least 18 hands tall, and all were very striking. There were two mares; a dappled grey and a light bay. The third was an impressive looking black stallion with a silky, shiny coat. This was the one I chose, stroking his neck as I walked around. In one leap I was up on his back, his ears pricked up and he let out a quiet snort. It struck me that none of them spoke; all the animals in Narnia spoke.

"The Silent Trio." I mused, giving them a name, "How strange." I leant across and stroked the other two in turn. This jogged an old forgotten memory I had. There'd been old stories, spread by word of mouth, told around campfires, of these three horses. It was said that they were very rarely seen and absolutely never ridden; they were completely wild. The story went that they came to Narnia with Aslan himself; they were the three horse lords, forever watching over the lands. I couldn't remember their names though. I knew for a fact that this story was true, and that these were the three, because Aslan himself had told me and Lucy. I remember thinking how he'd seemed to be aiming his words at me but thinking nothing of it. Maybe it was of some significance after all. I'll ask him when I next saw him…along with all the other questions.

With a light tap of my heel the stallion started forwards, the other two taking its flanks. Minutes later, when I thought of going faster we broke into a sudden canter, it startling me, and then a minute later we were galloping. It felt like I was flying, going faster than anything in the world with the wind wiping my hair around my face. Once in the forest the horses didn't slow down at all, continuing at a breath taking pace. We carved a path through the trees that seemed to move for us. I had to remind myself that they probably did. We leapt over fallen trees and branches with impossible ease, they never seemed to tire.

Soon it began to grow dark and we stopped in a clearing in the forest, I never had to speak; they seemed to read my mind. As I fell asleep I almost trusted the horses to stay. Despite that I still had a surprise in the morning to find the three of them lying in a defensive triangle around me. I remembered their names now from Aslan's story. The dappled grey was named Satina, the bay was Valianta and the stallion was Nasique.

Walking away from them I followed the sound of running water to a stream where I washed. Returning to the clearing I climbed back onto Nasique's back and off we went again. After an hour or so we reached a deserted stretch of road, cutting through the forest. It was the type of road that only the older, wiser Narnians would take. As we started down it, Valianta and Satina took up out flanks like usual. We were going at a steady canter now, still kicking up the dust behind though.

In all this time I wasn't sure where we were headed; to Caspian or to my siblings? To Aslan? Or maybe not to any of them, maybe they were taking me to the reason I was back. I didn't stop them, we kept on going straight. Me and my trusted companions; sooner or later we'd meet someone.


	5. Chapter 5

**PCFS 5**

(Peter's POV)

"Pete? What's going on?" Alex asked, throwing a cushion at me to gain my attention.

"Headache." I murmured, trying to overcome the blaring noise in my head. It was an impossible noise though! I had to be imagining it. But still, the noise sounded awfully familiar, "Susan's horn!" I remembered suddenly.

"Huh?"

"Don't worry." I shook my head and closed my eyes. Why was I hearing it? I was never going back as Aslan had said. And also, Susan's horn called her; the four of us went last time it was blown because we'd all been together. That's what Caspian's tutor had said at least. If he was right, then surely Susan would be hearing this too. I stood up and walked out of the common room, running through the school to her history class. From the window I couldn't see her so I knocked on the door.

"Mr. Pevensie, how may I help you?" Mrs. Brown asked as she opened the door.

"I was just looking for my sister."

"Well she left for the Nurse's office half an hour ago. Complaining of a headache." I thanked her and left. So Susan was hearing it too, what about the other too? And how come she'd heard it so long ago? What was going on!

(Lucy's POV)

"Ed! ED!" I yelled, running through the house, "Edmund Pevensie!" Finally I ran into him rushing out of the kitchen where our mother was cooking. "Can you hear it?" I demanded, ignoring her concerned expression.

"Of course! It's bloody deafening!" he swore, a hand at his temple.

"Edmund! Language!" Mum scolded, "What's going on? What can you hear?"

I grinned and said, "Susan's horn! We're going back Ed!" Mum looked totally lost as we began laughing gleefully. It was nearing six months since we'd last returned and I was desperate to go back. "Do we need anything?"

"Course not; it's all at Cair Paravel! I wonder how long it's been!"

"Probably a few hundred years, but who knows!" I was literally squealing with excitement, "I wish the other two could come though." I added sadly.

"Who knows what Aslan's doing."


	6. Chapter 6

**PCFS 6**

It was a few hours later that we first met people on the road. First the horses ears pricked up, then they became restless as the sound of hooves became louder and louder. A minute later they rounded the corner. 'They' being two male centaurs who stopped quickly at the sight of us. Centaurs were the wisest of the Narnians; therefore they recognized us quickly, sinking to their knees.

"Your Highness!" The first called out in alarm.

"Your Majesty! Riding the Three Horse Lords!" Came the second.

With a smile we closed the distance, "Rise my friends." They did so slowly, "What are your names?"

"I am Karias; my companion is my brother Othius. It is our honor to meet you." He informed me earnestly. His brother seemed too scared to speak in our presence.

I pushed my hood off and smiled kindly at him, "Don't fear us, please. It is my pleasure to meet you too. I must ask, how long has it been since we left last?"

"Queen Lucy and King Edmund left not a year ago. But it has been three years since you were last in Narnia." Karias told me. So Lucy had been right, Aslan had slowed down time. But why would he do that? Would that mean that I've been missing for two days back in England…what was going on?"

"Are you headed somewhere your Majesty?" Othius asked timidly.

"I'm not sure. Where does this road lead? We've been following it for quite a while now."

Karias smiled, "This road leads to the Telmarine castle. It lies no more than an hour away if you take the road. The forest would be a short cut if it wasn't so dense and dangerous."

I nodded, a warm anticipation spreading through me, "And who's rule is it may I ask?"

"King Caspian X of course. He is ever powerful in his third year. People say that he is the best third King Narnia has ever seen!" I was practically in a daze of happiness! He was here, he was alive!

"Thank you very much. But what do you mean by 'third King'?"

"His Majesty High King Peter the Magnificent is the First King, and then comes King Edmund the Just." Othius informed me, "It is the same with you; you are the First Queen, then Queen Lucy. If King Caspian was to marry then his wife would be the Third Queen." I froze slightly at that, he wasn't married? Surely after three years a King he'd have married! What did that mean? "His Majesty is endlessly meeting suitors yet he shows no interest."

"Well thank you again. I must get to the castle soon. Please don't tell anyone that I'm back though, I must see the King first."

"Of course. Which route will you take to the castle? And would you like us to escort you?"

Smiling I shook my head; "I'll manage but thank you for the offer. And I'll be taking the forest; we've managed so far."

"Well goodbye my Queen."

"Goodbye." And with that we parted ways. The four of us trotted into the forest, within minutes we were going at a steady canter. The dense forest seemed to move to make way for us. I had to remind myself that this was Narnia; they probably did. Within half an hour we emerged from the forest onto the huge familiar plane. There was a large hill that erupted from the flat, atop this stood the impressive structure of the Telmarine castle, surrounded by the little town of Telmar. I had a sudden déjà vu of the time we'd raided the place with our army of Narnians.

"That's our goal, friends." I muttered and the horses snorted and whinnied happily, "Let's go." That was all the encouragement they needed. We burst into a gallop at an alarming pace to catch the road before the town. I couldn't feel happier with the wind whipping my hair around my face. On any other horses it would have taken an hour or so, for us it took half that time to reach the road. We only slowed slightly as we ascended the winding streets of Telmar. I'd put up my hood back on to cover my face so the curious onlookers wouldn't recognize me.

We came to a halt just before the draw bridge, out of sight of the guards. I slid off Nasique and stood before the three, "Will you come back?" I murmured, stroking Satina's nose, "I hope so. Thank you all." I stroked the other two one more before saying, "Go my Lords." And with that they turned, neighing loudly before thundering down the streets. They looked magnificent as they charged back across the plane and I felt sad to watch them go.

Now I was faced with a new problem; getting into the castle. I knew the guards wouldn't just let my pass; unless…castle tours? There was a line of people at the entrance waiting the tour guide. I hid amongst them as the tour began. Ten minutes later I'd slipped away and was walking through the castle. I remembered it very well therefore knew how to get to the room I wanted. It was easier than it should have been to get into the Kings chambers. I let out a small sigh at the sight of the room before crossing to the balcony overlooking the courtyard. I'd only ever been in Caspian's room once and that had only been to pass on a message. It really hadn't changed much though, apart from one thing: atop the wooden dresser lay a single arrow with a red feathered tip. I recognized it instantly as one of my own and smiled.

I leant against the door frame, facing away from the door and waited for him to arrive. It didn't take long; after a few minutes there were voices at the door before it opened. He must've spotted me because it was silent save the door clicking shut, then I smiled at the familiar sound of him drawing his sword.

"Word has it you're one of the best King's Narnia has ever seen." I said clearly, noting the gasp, "I can believe that." Slowly I turned and looked at him for the first time. He looked just the same; same messy dark hair and tanned skin, same piercing green eyes. Yet he looked older, more mature and built up. So he looked good. I bowed my head for a minute, "Your Majesty." I murmured.

He seemed to be in shock for a minute before walking slowly around the bed to stand before me, "Queen Susan," He breathed. He was taller now too, I had to raise my head slightly to look him in the eye, "You're back."

"I'm back." I agreed quietly with a nod and a smile, "If I may be so bold, I must say I've missed you."

He smiled and reached out to push the hood off my head, his hand catching a lock of my long black hair and stroking it gently, "I've missed you too." I leant my head against his hand slightly and sighed before he pulled his hand slowly back, "Forgive me, I shouldn't have done that; I forget my place."

I laughed quietly and shrugged, "And I shouldn't do this," I told him before stepping up on my tip toes and brushing my lips against his. I smiled again at his sharp intake of breath before bringing his mouth down on mine, wrapping his arms around my waist. My hands went to his neck instantly and I smiled into the desperate kiss.

When breathing became an issue I pulled away, smiles on both our faces, "I don't understand though; how come you're back? Aslan said-"  
"I know…and I have no idea why or how I'm here." I laughed.

"What about the others? Is Peter here too?"

"I don't know. I wasn't with them this time; I was in a lesson, Peter was in the common room and I don't know about the other two." I told him, "It can only mean that something has happened, happening or going to happen in Narnia…I'd rule out the first."

He nodded, then pulled my back into a tight hug, "Well I'm glad you're back."

"Me too." I murmured, inhaling his scent which I'd missed so much.


End file.
